Dating & "Hooking Up"

There are arguments within Christianity in favor of dating and opposed to the practice of dating. Some of the arguments that oppose the practice of dating revolve around the idea that dating is competitive. Those who believe this want to return to a "more formal system of dating" that's purpose to "identify a good marriage partner" and places "strict limitations on sexual intimacy." I don't agree with the 'anti-daters' who argue that dating in our current social context is "essentially practice for divorce." The arguments in favor of dating contest the 'anti-daters' theories; these arguments revolve around learning from people that one dates, preparing one to care for another on a deeper level, and providing the grounds for "personal transformation." I agree with the 'pro-daters' theories because they are more realistic. If one doesn't date, how is one supposed to find out the type of person one is looking to have as a future life partner? What would happen if one got married to someone one later found out that had nothing in common with one? I believe it is important, especially as one matures, for one to be able to decide what qualities and characteristics one believes will make a suitable partner to fit where one wants to go in life, individually and collectively. Also, when one dates, one learns how to care for someone on a different level than one cares of oneself or one's family; it is a life skill that is needed in order to make connections. Through the arguments/disagreements/hard times during dating relationships, one will learn how to handle oneself and difficult situations, another life skill. Most prevalently, one can learn about oneself in a new way. When one dates, one discovers latent ideas possessed by oneself that were not apparent till needed and other things about oneself. Dating shapes a person's perception.

This argument compares with the experience of my peers and 'contemporaries' in an interesting way. The "dating period [can be divided] into three eras: high school, college, and emerging adulthood." In high school, people tend to be influenced by their friends, the expectations of society, and the expectations of their parents. In college, people have more freedom to experience dating in their own way, but it becomes more confusing and leads to conversations about serious commitment. The period of emerging adulthood is the most complicated because it involves deciding what one is going to do the rest of one's life and who, if anyone, one wants to spend that time. Generally, I feel that my generation is pro-dating because people like to get to know another person, especially if there is a possibility of a romantic relationship ensuing. People I know have learned qualities that they do and don't like in other people by dating; they have also learned more about themselves in the process and to what length they believe romantic relationships should play in their lives.

The article "Conflict Over Hook-Up Culture" from Busted Halo described the 'hook-up' culture prevalent in colleges and universities. The article compares to the earlier described arguments by showing how dating has changed over the years, including how it is seen by some groups of people. A 'hook-up' can be described as six or more different things, ranging from kissing to sexual intercourse. Any type of hooking-up first can lead to a 'awkward' situations, starting relationships off on the wrong foot, or horrible acts such as date rape. Since most people believe a 'hook-up' should be meaningful, the after effects can be devastating or great, depending on the outcome; this is especially true for women because men tend to participate in the act for just pure pleasure. The media and rumors inflate the ‘hook-up’ culture, but in actuality, not everyone is doing it; one should follow one's own path - morals and values - and participate in what one is comfortable. As seen throughout time, if one doesn't like something, take action to change what one wishes to see in the world.